Hey Lovely Friend,
Whether we like it or not, habits and routines make up our entire lives. We just have to figure out what habits are healthy, and which habits are not.
What is a habit?
Here is the dictionary definition of what a habit is:
"A settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up."
Waking up to your alarm and immediately hitting snooze is a habit.
Brushing your teeth first thing in the morning is a habit.
Getting dressed is a habit. (At least I hope it is haha!)
Now what does the dictionary say a routine is?
"A sequence of actions regularly followed; a fixed program"
Waking up to your alarm, immediately hitting snooze, rolling out of bed, brushing your teeth and getting dressed are four different habits that create a routine.
A routine is simply a group of habits repeated regularly.
How does one form a habit?
Most of our habits are formed unintentionally. Especially unhealthy habits. However we can CHOOSE to practice healthy ones. How cool is that?
When you are practicing a current habit, you're not thinking about it. You are just doing it.
If you're trying to figure out if your habit is healthy or not, maybe write down any of your current habits and then mark which ones are not currently helping you create the life you love. Practicing this will help you discern which habits serve you, and which habits you are serving. Meaning, what habits do you feel are controlling you, and which habits do you feel in control of?
Humans are creatures of habit and in order to achieve peace in our lives, we have to practice healthy habits.
Achieving healthy habits - create positive routines - creates a life that you love living every day.
If you are wanting to change an unhealthy habit or start a new habit, you have to really WANT to.
The outcome/reward from the new habit you are trying to build must outweigh the satisfaction the old habit is giving you.
In Charles Duhigg’s book "The Power of Habit" he shares something called "The Habit Loop". He breaks down the science of habits in three steps and those three steps are:
- Cue: the trigger for an automatic behavior to start
- Routine: the behavior itself
- Reward: what our brain gets out of it
Here's a picture, so you can see how it works:
Your habits all start with a craving.
Your alarm goes off in the morning, you crave to press snooze. Your cue is when your alarm goes off, your routine is hitting snooze and then the "reward" is maybe getting 5 minutes of extra sleep.
If this is a habit you're trying to break (which is something I would suggest), you could replace the snooze button with sitting up, and drinking a glass of water that you put on your bed stand the night before. This is something Shelby Sacco (the owner of Sad to Savage) recommends.
If you feel like you've hit rock bottom, if you feel like your house is a mess, if you don't feel at peace, and if you're always going to bed feeling that you've failed that day... then maybe it's time to take a look at the habits and routines in your life and choose to change.
Your life does not have to feel this way.
Your life SHOULD not feel this way.
If that's how you feel, please know this:
You worship a God that not only knows everything about you, but also sees you at your lowest and reaches out to help you. God has designed a beautiful walk just for you! A walk that glorifies Him in all things! Choose the path created by God instead of trying to make your own "easy" path that leads to a more stressful life.
When you invite God into your daily routine, you will naturally want to practice healthy habits that honor God. He will give you strength. He will help you achieve your goals. He will fill your life with ultimate peace.
When we honor God with our days, and glorify him with our actions, slowly but surely our mindset will change and so will our habits.
Key Tips to Remember when Building a Habit:
1. Forget about perfection.
When you are aiming to be perfect, you are putting all the pressure on yourself instead of leaning on God to give you the strength and help you. Pick habits that make you feel more like a person.
2. Create a Bounce Back Plan
If you are so focused on creating a brand new routine, remember to create bounce back plan. When you have a day that's hard or filled with a bunch of unexpected surprises, you'll feel like you've failed and you'll want to chunk your progress in the trash. By creating a simple bounce back plan you will be able to get back on track smoothly, and still be excited about your new routines. Try to fill it with as much grace and kindness towards yourself as possible. A great thing you could add to your bounce back plan is a "Mindful Transaction" - a method where you practice paying yourself. (You can read more about what this is in our blog post "Feel Peace in Your Mind")
3. Avoid Copy and Pasting
Everyone's routines should be unique to them. If we try to copy someone else's habits and routines instead of creating our own, we will quickly burn out and feel like we have failed. Doing what feels right to you is key. I am sooo guilty of this. It took me over a year for me to realize that the habits I copied from someone else were doing more harm than good for me. Even though they were all good habits, they weren't being practiced in the right order. And that caused me to constantly feel like I was failing and doing life wrong. Trust your gut and practice healthy habits that go in the right order for you.
4. Start Small
Especially if creating a routine is new to you, try to start small. Pick two or three things for you to practice. If they don't naturally happen, change the order or replace one of them. Be patient with yourself and extend yourself grace! You are capable of creating a healthy routine. Once those two or three things feels like an easy to practice rhythm, then you can look at adding something new!
5. Trust the Stillness
Being still is a lost art. We constantly feel like we have to be doing something, and when there's nothing to do, we don't know what to do haha.
Any time I would try to start practicing a new routine, I would make a list of 7 or 10 things instead of focusing on three. My thought process was "Well, once I do those three things, then I won't know what to do next."
I don't know why we often feel the need to put ourselves in schedule jail. Instead of just doing those three things, and then having the complete freedom to do ANYTHING else, I chose to put myself in a box that said I could ONLY do those things on my list. Then my list was overwhelming, and my routines crashed and burned. I went straight back to my old ways.
Trust the stillness, and know you ARE ok to do nothing.
By having nothing to do, then you give yourself the opportunity to do anything.
We are capable of creating a life that we love.
We are capable of LIVING a life that we love.
How beautiful is it that we have the power to train our minds and practice routines and habits that help us make the most of every moment?
God is so kind. God is so awesome. Praise be to God!
Remember my friends, you are lovely.
Your mind, your life, and your home is truly lovely.
Happy Habit Building!
Love,
Evelyn